Over the hill...

It's said that when we turn 40 we have a mid life crisis, so when we're 41 we're officially over the hill. Age is something that haunts all of us. We're either being so immature or being way too sensible for our age. And sometimes you find yourself in front on the mirror, inspecting your face for evidence of the years you've lived. Scars from chicken pox and all of our scraps in life. Our skin colour, either from years in the sun or years hiding in the darkness. Freckles...they'll never leave you! And every now and then, to our horror of horrors we find a sign of the good times we've had. Yes, I speak only ,of course, about crows feet! But, shouldn't we be happy that we've laughed so many times in our life? Shouldn't we be grateful? Maybe I am getting ahead of myself a little. After all, I am only fifteen and yet the scare that is my birthday, already worries me half to death. My birthday is coming up soon and I'm already worrying about getting older. I even announced to my friends that I was staying fifteen for another year, because I wasn't satisfied with what I'd achieved at the age of sixteen. But, what is that exactly? I have decent enough grades at school and I have a fabulous circle of friends, not forgetting my family (and my cats) so why am I not satisfied? Is it just that I cannot bare to let go? As soon as I finish my A levels, I will be the first one to escape...so why is part of me still clinging on for dear life to my childhood? And this is when it hit me. I'm scared. Infact, I'm petrified. Emma said to me the other day that I should be celebrating my sixteenth, because it's a life mark and it only happens once. But, I'd rather spend the day with a huge tub of Ben and Jerry's sobbing over he's just not that into you. Am I really that scared of moving on and out? Would I really rather be clueless and innocent? I'm not sure anymore. I just need to remember, 'Tonight, we are young.' xoxo